“AHHHHH!!!!!
There’s a tarantula in the bathroom help me!” screamed Vanessa.
Her
mother came rushing to her daughter, “What’s wrong?”
“There’s
a tarantula in the toilet.”
“Ya right.”
“Take a
look for yourself.”
Her
mother grinned and strutted to the bathroom.
Her hand glided along the wall and flicked on the light. She was confident that her daughter was lying
so as she lifted the lid of the toilet, “AHHHHHH!!! There IS a tarantula in the toilet!” she was
shocked at her discovery and rushed to the phone to call the exterminator.
“Ha, told
you.” Vanessa said smugly.
No wonder Vanessa was feeling smug! I wouldn't want to find a tarantula in my toilet! You have done a great job of using dialogue and sounds to really create the scene!
ReplyDeleteKeep up the good writing.
Mrs. A. Team 100 WC
Hi Jerrad and thanks for entering the 100WC this week! I agree with Mrs A- you've used dialogue and sounds really well. Your writing is really lively and confident and this comes across to the reader in your choice of vocabulary and the way in which you have set out your work. I especially like how you started your writing off with "AHHHHH!!!!" as it immediately made me want to find out more! Well done and keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteMrs Davis, Team 100, Cambridgeshire, UK